i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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