My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
