he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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