i don't plan on having that self control this summer
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
