My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
