If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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