I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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