addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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