yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
