Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
