so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
