you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
