Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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