I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
