We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
