I'm eating all of the evidence.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
