Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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