So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
