I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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