Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
