just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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