EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
