I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
