We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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