I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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