dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
