3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
