You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
