I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
