never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
