Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
