He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
