having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
