I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
