Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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