No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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