She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize