Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
