If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
