im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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