Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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