im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
