my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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