Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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