Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
