Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
