He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
