Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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