and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
