In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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