well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The best revenge is premature balding
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
