how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
