ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
